October 18, 2020

Dear X,

You said you fell in love with me in about two months, loved me for about a month and then fell out of love with me within the next month. Are you sure you even know what love is?
 

You don’t have to have cheated on someone to have led them on, but by making promises, big promises that you're not sure you can or even want to keep, that's leading them on. It's making them believe that they are (or were) important to you. That they were significant enough in your life that you wanted to share your dreams with them and envision a future with them.
 

“I love you” isn’t the only big phrase out there. Every word you say leaves an imprint, whether in someone's heart or mind. The things you say leave a mark on the people with whom you interact with every day. You have to be impeccable with your word.
 

It's very hurtful knowing that someone can say that they love you one day and then stop loving you the next, even more so when that person says that they've always been one to fight for a relationship, but gave up the minute their relationship with you hit a hurdle. That despite all the things they said: “You’re the best,” “I’ve never felt this way about anyone else,” “I want something real with you,” “I want you forever," they still decided that their relationship with you wasn't worth fighting for.

I wonder if you've ever thought about how your words have made me feel? Because they've made me feel insignificant and even more forgettable.

I’m not one to ask for forever. Hell, I wouldn't even dream of asking for a lifetime, or even 50 years. All I'll ever ask for is the present. But when I ask for the present, I also ask for presence. I ask for the presence of your mind, body and spirit. I ask for the presence of your heart.
 

I’m well-aware that things change, people change and feelings change, but it still saddens me that I was led to believe that what we had was something special, something beyond the ordinary; that what we had was rare and should be cherished.
 

I won’t be playing the blame game and you shouldn’t feel guilty for your change of heart, but if what you felt was merely infatuation, I wish we had never taken things this far. Maybe you can turn the clock on your feelings, but for me, love is a choice and when I choose to love, I will always choose love. If love for you is just a feeling, then I hope you don't hurt anyone else in the future when your feelings change because they will, they always do - and would you choose love when you have to?