I've had enough of nightmares. It's bad enough that I've been hurt in real life, but do I really have to be tormented every night by the same things in my sleep? Enough, please. I think I must've been traumatised. What was the big secret that I wasn't supposed to know about? Was I the big secret that no one else was supposed to know about? Enough. I find it sad to think that love nowadays has been reduced to casual and convenient flights of fancy. If I could do it all over and not do it at all, I would.

I just want it all to stop. I've had enough of it in real life, and I don't want to keep reliving a nightmare of it in my dreams. Please, just make it stop. Of all the people in the world, I wish it wasn't me. I wish it was some other girl whom I don't know. Someone who doesn't care. Someone who wants something 'drama-free.' Someone who just wants something quick and easy.

Why can't it all just go away? Why hasn't anyone invented a pill yet, or a process whereby I can erase certain things from my memory? I'm just so numb to it, I can't even cry — And that is so unlike me. I don't feel anything. I just want it all to disappear.

When you find the right person, they won't be finding the 'right' reasons to leave you.