2020 started with a whole lot of heartbreak.
It took me 2 months to recover mentally and emotionally from the nightmares and trauma...
Then COVID happened.
In a strange way, the lockdown was truly a blessing!
I took the express track towards healing and within the next 6-8 months, I was doing great! I was fit, healthy, working lots, and had time for my friends and family!
At the start of 2021, I thought to myself: "I think now's my time to butterfly!" and by a twist of fate, I met someone whom I thought could help take my life and career to the next level. It was like a sign from the Universe saying: "I hear you, and this is my answer!"
So I trusted in the relationship and did the work I thought was expected of me in order to reach my creative, artistic, and career goals. But...
I didn't know that I was being led down the fast track towards a creative, mental, and emotional breakdown.
After 5 months of working together, I was broken.
Subtly and gradually, my autonomy had been taken away from me, and with that, my voice. I was made to believe things about myself and about others that were not true and asked to keep certain things to myself. I was being told that our process of working together was the right way of doing things in the industry.
I didn't know any better, so I convinced myself it was.
Even though there were many red flags: I heard, saw, and experienced things that went completely against my ethics, my morals, my values, and my character.
I didn't want to continue... But I didn't see a way out.
When I finally decided to end things, the process was so convoluted and took close to 2 months that I started to wonder if this was what an ugly divorce looks like...
But standing in the here and NOW looking back on the last 2 years, I'm so proud of how I've leveled up despite these setbacks and despite these failed relationships.
I didn't need anyone to make me a butterfly!
I ALREADY AM. 🦋
I believe that the Universe did answer me, just in a different way than I expected, and I'm thankful for that because I learned and grew in CONFIDENCE, and now I know what I expect, both from myself and from others.
I can 100% CONFIDENTLY say that:
1. I am capable of rebuilding my world and empire no matter how many times someone tries to crumble it.
2. I expect honesty, clarity, and transparency from others because I expect the same things from myself.
3. I am able to set and enforce clear boundaries in my work life and personal life so that I have time and energy to care for myself, and in turn, others.
I truly believe that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and I'm standing a little taller right now!
The truth is, you can't become a BUTTERFLY by asking someone else to give you wings. You need to stay in your cocoon to grow, nourish yourself, and build your strength. When your wings are finally strong enough, you'll burst right through, and you WILL see the sun!