shalom.

April 16, 2020

Today I am praying for peace in my heart.

The past few months have transitioned from being rather torturous, to a weight that has been more bearable, to most recently, a mist in my mind that seems to fog over around midnight - right before I fall asleep.

They say some people struggle with sleep because they struggle with inner peace — I've never been faced with this issue till recently, and now it has almost become a daily part of my nighttime routine. I have to consciously make peace with my heart and my mind every night before I'm able to drift off into slumber. Thankfully, I've not had any nightmares. Since January, they seem to have dissipated along with most of what I thought the relationship I had was. I'm not blind to the darkness anymore.

Dear Lord,

I prayed for love, I prayed for courage, and I prayed for strength. You have taught me that in the last 2 years and I am grateful. They say when you pray for love, God gives you a reason to love; when you pray for courage, God gives you a reason to be courageous; and when you pray for strength, God gives you a reason to be strong. I have had reasons to be all that and more. It has not been an easy road, but when has change and growth ever been easy? We are meant to be pushed, stretched, challenged and moulded into something beautiful and someone wonderful.

On this blessed morning, I want to pray for health and safety for all the people that I love around the world. I pray for mental strength and fortitude to be able to get through this crisis time with a clearer focus and a stronger sense of purpose than before. I pray that you will lead me to higher ground, and that I shall never again fall to the wayside or be blinded by lies and deceit.

The are many kinds of people in this world, Lord, and I want to be like those that walk in your path. I want to be like the ones that follow your Word and live in truth, honesty, integrity and justice. It is a tall order, but I believe that if you stay by my side, I will continue to be the best person that I can be both for myself and for others. I want to be made beautiful in your image and I want to become someone that others can admire and look up to in positive ways. I want to be a light in the darkness.

I believe that you will guide me on that path towards enlightenment as long as I choose to remain openhearted, understanding, compassionate and loving. I want to be all that and more, and I pray that you will give me opportunities to grow as such.

In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit,
Amen