I've spent many years fighting my demons, and today is no different. I just realised that certain things people say or do still triggers the pain-body and the ego in me to respond in anger, spitefulness and vengeance. This fight against my "ego" self may never end, but I can work moment-to-moment towards making peace with it and regaining an awakened consciousness.

I realised today that some people are stuck in their ways and have been for decades. It's going to be hard to change them because only they can change themselves. Sometimes, they're just not willing to face their own demons and surrender their imperfections fully to the light. I cannot blame them for choosing to remain ignorant even if I wish that they they would choose otherwise. Maybe they just don't have the emotional tools right now which would enable them to confront the demons in their past, and opening Pandora's box would just threaten their entire man-made and illusory world and cause it to crumble. Maybe they just need a safety net - a fantasy - in order to survive the monotony of daily living. Would it be right to deprive them of a temporary escape? They say a leopard never changes its spots. Would I be fighting in vain then, if I fought for them?

I'm not perfect, and I don't believe that anyone is. We all have our angels and demons sitting on either sides of our shoulders having a constant debate in our ears telling us what's right or wrong, what we should or shouldn't do, how we should or shouldn't feel. This chatter of incessant noise won't subside on its own. We have to wake up. Only with awareness will it disappear, or at least fade into the background.

Today I am accepting the fact that I cannot change my past. I can only decide what to do in the present in order to change my future. I don't want to go rummaging around that dusty old shelf of memories anymore, getting my hands dirty and my heart covered in ashes. I am done living in the dark. I am ready to move forward into the light. I know that I cannot bring everyone along with me on this journey, but I hope that the people who love me will stay and that I'll meet more lovely people along the way who will move my heart in unimaginable ways.

Today I am saying yes to the unknown. I'm letting go of everything that does not serve my well-being anymore. I cannot live in a fantasy, and I won't. I want my life to be as real and as genuine as possible. I want my love to be just the same — one of God.