I'm not perfect, but I keep trying
'Cause that's what I said I would do from the start
I'm not alive if I'm lonely, so please don't leave
Was it something I said or just my personality?
- Hedley
Why do I feel so hurt? Why do I keep breaking into tears? What did you do to me that's left me feeling so lost and alone?
Some days I want to cry, but I can't. Other days, I just want to curl up into a ball and forget everything. Some days I still miss you, especially on days like this when I'm feeling low. You meant so much to me for so long and it's difficult not being able to just pick up the phone and call you when I know that you'll have the right words to say to make me feel better. I miss you, but I can't miss you because you gave up on us. You made your choice, and I had to make mine. I miss you, but I can't miss you because you're not mine anymore. I don't even know if you were ever mine to begin with...
I'm beginning to lose track of what's real and what isn't anymore. I still wonder if what we experienced was a case of right person but wrong time, or if God merely placed you in my path to teach me about what it means to love someone else?
We made so many beautiful memories, and I still keep them in the back of my mind like letters that I'm too afraid to open and postcards that I haven't read in months. It never occured to me that even the most beautiful memories could turn into the most painful ones when you broke my heart and shattered all the dreams that we built together. I suppose they were just dreams...
I wonder... If I walked down the streets that I once walked with you, would that piece back some of my heart?
Dear Lord, please help me to move forward.
ALYSSA