I should be happy, but why am I so sad? Today is a difficult day. Not unlike some other days I've been having recently. I suppose I'm just waiting on the right people to trust me and the quality of work that I am able to produce. I don't know why it's been so rough lately. It might just be me placing too much pressure on myself. Maybe that's it? I think I'm just disappointed in myself for being naive and inexperienced enough to place my trust in people who have been using me and my abilities to further their own agendas without caring for or having my best interests at heart. The world can be full of snakes sometimes and it just frustrates me that I wasn't able to see them while they were slithering around me. If even the people who say they love you can turn their backs on you, what more complete strangers with businesses to run, who see you as nothing more than a mere product that could possibly be used to increase their company's profit margin? Why is it so difficult to find the right people with good intentions, with their hearts in the right place and who believe in me, my talents, my abilities and my vision? It's an uphill climb... It's always been. It just hurts to think that I've been played out many times over without even realising it. I've always said that life isn't difficult, but difficult people make it so. *comforts self* It's okay. I'm stronger than this. I never give up and I'm not going to stop now. I'm just so done with placing my trust in the wrong people. Dear Lord, please send me an Angel... Amen.